Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Sharks.


There is a bit of a struggle on the brink of a new beginning. There is always that little voice that tells you that it is easier to simply stay the same. I am making an attempt to do things for more than just myself but part of me feels that I ought to do things just for myself for a change. Regardless, I am making this brief and painless leap into another place, into living for at least another year in Baltimore but at the same time I am spending three months in Honduras and I suppose all things considered, having a nice place to come home to after three months abroad is worth the four months that I will have to spend in this country when I return. Three and a half months in the new house, three months in Honduras (maybe four) and four and a half more months in the new house and then we shall see where we stand.

I miss when I used to have the time to sit and write and think. There is too much stress involved with moving and finding a house. I hate packing and cleaning and searching and considering what it would be like to live somewhere. Maybe if I had a zillion dollars I would like to go around and look at all the houses with lovely pools and several decks and a house that would be mine. But, I hate looking at places to rent.

I am a Pisces. All I want to do is swim in the ocean. But, not just swimming: lounging and laying and reading. In the ocean. God. I miss the ocean. But, also. I'm rather scared of sharks.