We All Live Alone.

The sun is hidden somewhere beneath the thick layer of clouds. One is not easily distinguishable from the next, they are one big blanket laid across the sky. The trees outside my window are shaking. I am looking forward to this shift in seasons. I will be glad to see the leaves change color once again, crisp and crinkle and then litter the ground and gutters. Time is always passing. It is always creeping up behind me and blowing softly onto the back of my neck.

I've been so many people these two days. I've been witness to beauties so sincere, talents so natural. And somewhere in the silence of all the days which have sped past, I've thought things and learned things and I've stood back, slowly taking small steps, and I've seen these things and wondered in what way they will serve me. I've wondered if I will wake up in another country, speaking another language and live for the things I believe in instead of trying to find room for those things in between all this work.

I was lost last night between the brilliant collaboration of my first love and my current love. They know each other so separately, so individually. They are so whole outside of what they know. It always serves to remind me of who I was and I wonder if I am really any different. How deeply am I mired in the past and how aware am I of the future?

Each one of us lives inside ourselves, peering out from behind open eyes. We all live alone.