Circumstance Lives Alongside Fate.

This blog has gone untended for over a week. Perhaps because I believed that no one was concerned and no one was checking or perhaps because I was caught up in other people's blogs and didn't dictate the time I needed for my own.

This day was spent psychoanalyzing different people's responses to a "personality test" given to me by my Dad quite some time ago. The taker of the test is essentially on a "journey". This journey is his/her own journey in which anything they believe is possible is the case. This is the basic premise. So, you inform the subject of this fact and then you take them on a journey. They must decide, first, at a fork in the road, between a sunny meadow and a wooded field. This decision, based on the way they come to their conclusion, is symbolic of the choice between the known and the unknown, the mysterious and the apparant. Many people I've given the test to have chosen the woods. I did. Everyone I've known to chose the meadow has been someone generally afraid of what they do not understand or someone who just wants the warm, clear things. They don't mind that all they can see is right there in front of them. They prefer it that way.

Next, the subject comes across a key. This key and their reaction to it is a symbol of the subject's general attitude toward knowledge. People either immediately take it, (it's obviously theirs if it's in their woods) or they think it's the key to someone else's house and want to leave it for the owner to find it. The people who take it generally have ornate, old, skeleton keys. I knew a Gemini who drew a picture of his key. He was very concerned that I understand what his key looked like, exactly.

So, the subject with or without his key continues on his/her way. He or she comes across a vase. This vase is suppose to be symbolic of the person's sexuality. People always have severe reactions to the vase even if they don't react severely to anything else in the whole test. People who are unsure of their sexual orientation or who are keeping it a secret almost always break the vase. I knew another Gemini who found his vase broken and he didn't know who had broken it but he knew it wasn't him. This was rather distressing. He wanted to know what this said about him and I didn't want to talk about it because it was rather obvious that he had something serious he was hiding, even from himself. Me? I didn't know what a vase was doing in my forest. To some people the vase is extremely important. It dictates the whole rest of their journey. To some people the vase is kind of nice but they don't want to be burdened by it. To others the vase is something they might consider coming back for but since they don't know where they're headed they don't pick it up, they hide it and intend to come back later to unearth their vase. A particularly chilly fellow for whom I work said that his vase was an urn. This caused me great distress. An URN!

The subject moves on, with a vase or without, with a key or without, and comes across a body of water. The subject is asked to describe this body of water. This body of water is supposed to symbolize their experience dealing with relationships and what relationships mean to them in general. Many people have a small but vibrant stream that they either walk across, jump over, or walk through. Many people also have a large lake which they either walk around, jump into, or perhaps boat across. More rarely someone will have a murky marsh, a puddle, a pond, or an ocean. The puddle and the ocean being the most extreme examples. Both of whom I have given this test to. The subject who had an ocean also had, and I swear to God, dead horseshoe crabs along her beach. They stank the place up, she said. When asked how she would go about traversing this ocean she said, "I would build a raft out of sticks. I don't know how to do that but I would do it." A RAFT to traverse the OCEAN. She could have chosen ANYTHING. A boat, a fucking dolphin, anything. A raft made of sticks. Christ. Most people who have no idea what to do or how to behave in a relationship just walk around their body of water, whatever it may be. These people will NEVER jump in. It won't even strike them momentarily. One fellow I heard of, through a reliable resource, said that he walked across his lake because it was frozen. He is fellow who will not have a girlfriend, scared to death of committment. Another fellow whom I work with said that he walked around his lake because the trees were too thick around it to get through. He is a rather distant person, very hard to know. Shocking.

Lastly, the subject is brought to a wall. This wall is very high; the subject cannot see over it and as far as they can see on both sides it continues. They know only this: that if they choose to go over the wall they may never return to the other side. This wall is a symbol for death and the occult. The unknown in general but mostly death. Some people are unwilling to believe that once they have gone over they can never come back. Some people peek over to see if they want to. Some people do not even CONSIDER for one solitary second the thought of going over the wall. Some people would rather return the way they came. The distressing fellow for whom I work used his urn/vase to peek over the wall, climbed over and then said he didn't care about the urn/vase or whether he could get it back because, of course, he had the key. Another beautiful girl who is a very close friend mine did not go over the wall, she instantly turned around and went back to her body of water in order to "catch frogs". This is a girl who very much wants babies. Shocking.

But, it's all in the way they take it. It's all in how much they're willing to give up, in how willing they are to conform to this world and to believe that anything they want can be. And that's why the test is so accurate. Because, just the act of taking it says enough about you and when it is layered with these Freudian symbols it makes it all the more multi-dimensional. Some people just won't believe that whatever they want is true, they want to ask you all the time because they perceive you to be in the "know" since you're the one "giving" the test. And some people just pick up that it's their world. In the exact same way that some people are willing to take complete and utter responsibility for their own lives and others want to be told what to do and think that circumstance is the only dictator. They don't understand that THEY themselves are RESPONSIBLE for the circumstances. They say, Oh I just did this because that's what it looked like. If it looked like something else I would have done it differently. They don't understand that it looks like that because they made it that way.

What does your body of water look like?